Wednesday, January 22, 2014

All Over the Place

I feel like my life is spinning. Not out of control but just spinning round and round.  I don't know when it will stop.  I find myself trying to stop it. To slow down and enjoy the little things but it is proving harder then I thought.

As I sit here and type, there is a lovely coating of snow outside.  Snow that H.B.Nanna wore her pajamas inside out {for 2 nights!} for. The Boy is taking his nap. H.B.Nanna is sitting next to me busy making bracelets on her rainbow loom that she got for Christmas. Laundry is going and there is a sweet treat cooling on the stove.  And while I should be soaking in all of this, my brain can't help but think of all things I could be doing or places I could be. And I HATE it.

I read of all these inspirational Mommy blogs and share them with friends. But the truth is, sometimes I wanted to yell at the writer and tell her she is crazy.  I want to be the Mom that doesn't care about the mess.  The one that spends hours on the floor playing with her child and still manages to make dinner and have the laundry kept up. The Mom that is always doing fun projects with her children. The Mom that is always out and about with her children and has date nights with her husband. I don't like to say that I can't be this Mom because I have a child with special needs.  {Shit, I hate that term - but that's for another day} But sometimes its the truth. And I don't like it.

Don't get me wrong, I love the Boy with all of my heart and I wouldn't change a thing about him. He is so smart, funny and the most loveable boy I've ever known. He has changed my life in ways that are unimaginable. My heart hurts for H.B.Nanna because almost daily she is told to wait a minute or that she can't do something because of her brother.  I know that every older sibling experiences this but it so much more for her because I never know when the Boy is going to have a sensory meltdown.

I know I am not the first Mom with 2 children to say they struggle with the day to day.  I don't expect sympathy or stories of "when my children were younger" because that isn't why I wrote this. I think as parents we are supposed to encourage one another.  Let each other know that it's ok to have bad days. It's ok to have days where you have feel like you have failed your children but they were fed, changed and are happy so in reality to your children, it was probably a good day. Offer a shoulder to cry on and not judge each other for the way we do or don't do things. We should listen to advice from each other {whether you chose to follow it is another story} because chances are we each have a friend who has been through whatever is troubling us. It's ok because we are all in this together. We all love being Moms and instead of working against each other, we should be working together. Happy Snow Day Moms!!

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