Sunday, July 21, 2013


I have a problem.  Not a serious, see a doctor or therapist problem. But a problem.
I know they say that after you spend months planning your wedding and the big day comes and goes, you find yourself in this awkward phase. Like you don't know what to do with yourself after you have become so accustomed to focusing on wedding planning. They also say that is when buying a home or having a baby becomes your next focus.
Well I am already married. I already have babies.  And we are in no position to buy a house. But I think I am going through something. So let me see if I can explain it.
For so long I focused on when my last day of work would be.  I wanted to get everything in order so that I could close everything up {rather} smoothly and I think that was a success. As soon as I was done work my focus shifted to the baby shower I was planning for my friend and the Boy's 1st birthday bash. Both went off well with only a few small glitches. I felt accomplished.  I pulled off 2 fairly big events only 3 days apart.
But now I have nothing I am planning.  I have nothing to direct my focus towards.  Don't get me wrong, my children and my husband are my priority but I feel like I am lacking something. I know I have only been a Stay-at-home Mom for a month now and that I am being to hard on myself {I know I least I can admit it!} but I find myself looking for something to focus on.
For instance, this morning while both children were playing and the husband was reviewing the massive budget spreadsheet, I found myself searching the newspaper for a cool new year-round home to rent. Because packing up this large house and moving is something I {don't} need right now. I love the house we rent and people are always telling us how awesome our house is.  We even had a friend ask us to tell her if we wanted to move because she would like to rent it. But sometimes I think about how cool it would be to live a little closer to the beach {since apparently 6 miles is too far} and to have neighbors that we would actually get to know. It's like this giant gamble that I don't know if I am willing to take since things don't usually seem to work out in my favor.
I have an etsy store that I would like to grow and that I should focus on but something is lacking.  Sometimes I feel like I jumped into too soon and that I need to do some research and build stock before I move forward with it. Heck, I can't seem to give the stuff away sometimes. I don't think it is a quality issue but rather I am not reaching a target audience and there seems to be a lot of people out there that sell similar items. So focusing on that is something I need to do. But I feel like I am at a cross roads with it, keep it going or close up shop and call it a day.
Blogging should be a focus for me as well. At least that is what my Dad would say since he is always so kind to remind when I haven't blogged in a while. And I am really trying to get better at it. It is my place to talk openly and freely and I try not to worry about who is reading it and what they might think. I think I have gotten better with the opening up part since that was something I really struggled with when I started this blog 5 {good golly!!} years ago. I keep thinking that if I spend the money to have someone design a fancy layout that I may be more inclined to turn the computer on and blog more often. 
I know that this is all just a phase and something is going to come along or change that will drive my focus but I have to practice my patience which is hard for me. I tend to have an idea and jump into it. So in the meantime I am going to try and relax and enjoy not having anything "major" going on and focus on my family and enjoying what is left of the summer. 

1 comment:

Pooja Mittal said...

Nice post..
Would you like to follow each other..!!!
Keep in touch