Sunday, July 21, 2013

Focus

I have a problem.  Not a serious, see a doctor or therapist problem. But a problem.
 
I know they say that after you spend months planning your wedding and the big day comes and goes, you find yourself in this awkward phase. Like you don't know what to do with yourself after you have become so accustomed to focusing on wedding planning. They also say that is when buying a home or having a baby becomes your next focus.
 
Well I am already married. I already have babies.  And we are in no position to buy a house. But I think I am going through something. So let me see if I can explain it.
 
For so long I focused on when my last day of work would be.  I wanted to get everything in order so that I could close everything up {rather} smoothly and I think that was a success. As soon as I was done work my focus shifted to the baby shower I was planning for my friend and the Boy's 1st birthday bash. Both went off well with only a few small glitches. I felt accomplished.  I pulled off 2 fairly big events only 3 days apart.
 
But now I have nothing I am planning.  I have nothing to direct my focus towards.  Don't get me wrong, my children and my husband are my priority but I feel like I am lacking something. I know I have only been a Stay-at-home Mom for a month now and that I am being to hard on myself {I know I am...at least I can admit it!} but I find myself looking for something to focus on.
 
For instance, this morning while both children were playing and the husband was reviewing the massive budget spreadsheet, I found myself searching the newspaper for a cool new year-round home to rent. Because packing up this large house and moving is something I {don't} need right now. I love the house we rent and people are always telling us how awesome our house is.  We even had a friend ask us to tell her if we wanted to move because she would like to rent it. But sometimes I think about how cool it would be to live a little closer to the beach {since apparently 6 miles is too far} and to have neighbors that we would actually get to know. It's like this giant gamble that I don't know if I am willing to take since things don't usually seem to work out in my favor.
 
I have an etsy store that I would like to grow and that I should focus on but something is lacking.  Sometimes I feel like I jumped into too soon and that I need to do some research and build stock before I move forward with it. Heck, I can't seem to give the stuff away sometimes. I don't think it is a quality issue but rather I am not reaching a target audience and there seems to be a lot of people out there that sell similar items. So focusing on that is something I need to do. But I feel like I am at a cross roads with it, keep it going or close up shop and call it a day.
 
Blogging should be a focus for me as well. At least that is what my Dad would say since he is always so kind to remind when I haven't blogged in a while. And I am really trying to get better at it. It is my place to talk openly and freely and I try not to worry about who is reading it and what they might think. I think I have gotten better with the opening up part since that was something I really struggled with when I started this blog 5 {good golly!!} years ago. I keep thinking that if I spend the money to have someone design a fancy layout that I may be more inclined to turn the computer on and blog more often. 
 
I know that this is all just a phase and something is going to come along or change that will drive my focus but I have to practice my patience which is hard for me. I tend to have an idea and jump into it. So in the meantime I am going to try and relax and enjoy not having anything "major" going on and focus on my family and enjoying what is left of the summer. 

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

The Boy is One - Part 2

Since the Boy is lucky enough to have a birthday the day before a big summer holiday he will probably grow up thinking he gets fireworks for his birthday.  At least that is what is sister thinks!
 
Seriously this girl cracks me up!
 
It took about 25 pictures to get a remotely good one.
Even if the Boy has devil eyes! 
 
Someone liked the fireworks {don't let the face fool you!}
Big Sister asked repeatedly to go home. She says she is staying home next year! 
 
On Saturday we had family and friends over for a Mickey birthday bash.
My good friend Sarah made this darling cake for the birthday boy. 
 
I love this and think they will find a permanent home in the playroom.  
 
The Boy wasn't feeling well and the crowd of people surrounding his high chair were a bad combination.  He wanted nothing to do with his cake. Poor guy! 

 
I am so sad that this is my last first birthday party that I will be planning.  Both of my babies had Mickey Mouse first birthday parties! That is called reusing some of what you already have!


Monday, July 15, 2013

Summer Fun To Do List

Since this is H.B.Nanna's first real summer at home I thought it would be fun to create a fun to do list for her.  Who am I kidding...it is to hold me accountable.  All those things I say "Yep, we'll do that one day. Maybe in a couple of weeks" ..but then we never actually do.  If it's written on the list we are going to do it.
 
Except berry picking.  I think we missed that thanks to the ridiculous amount of rain we have had.
 
So I got all Pinteresty and made a fun little chart that really looks like H.B.Nanna could have made it. But it works.

 
So what is on our list?
 
Pick Berries
Watch Fireworks
Playdates
Farmers Market
Do A Color Run Race
Children's Museum
Make Ice Cream
Concert in the Park
Visit Aunt Erin and Baby E
Play Miniature Golf
Have Ice Cream for Dinner
Movie at the Beach
Play with Water Balloons
Swim at Nanni and PopPop's House
Go to the Zoo
 

Friday, July 12, 2013

The Boy is One - Part One

 
Last week the Boy had his big birthday.  I can not believe that I have a 4 1/2 year old and a 1 year old. I love it! For his birthday we wanted to get him something cool that he could use for a while.  Honestly, I am not sure who liked it more....

 
 



We had a simple dinner since the birthday boy really wasn't feeling well.  There is nothing worse then being sick on your birthday!  Earlier in the day the Husband ran to the store and picked up a cupcake for the Boy to enjoy.  It was too dang hot to turn the oven on and the store's cupcakes where going to be cuter then anything I could muster.
 

 



 
A word of advice...don't mix orange and blue icing.  It is not a pretty color!
 
So this is part 1 of the Boy's birthday {it wasn't my plan for it to be a 2 part series} as there is a screaming Boy who has just woken from his nap!


Thursday, July 11, 2013

Adjusting

I knew that the adjustment from part-time working Mom to Stay-At-Home Mom would be just that..an adjustment but I don't think I fully grasped what it would be like.  Don't get me wrong, I am very happy with my decision.  I am just in an adjustment period that I don't think my brain was fully prepared for.

I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I finished working and jumped right into baby shower and 1st birthday party planning. We added in summer colds for everyone in our house and I found myself feeling busier then when I was working.  Now that the baby shower and birthday party are over, I am now finally starting to get this being at home thing.

I need to know...how do other Moms do it?  Yesterday neither of my darling children napped/rested resulting in lots of bickering and an early bedtime so the Husband and I could eat dinner in peace and quiet. I know I am not the first Mother to put her children to bed early so she can eat in peace.

Part of my struggle with the adjustment is trying to figure out how to get things done and keep the children occupied and out of trouble.  You know...eat, go to the bathroom, throw in a load of laundry, hold a telephone conversation {who am I kidding...no one calls anymore} send a text message or even fumble through the fridge/freezer to figure out what is for dinner.  I stress about H.B.Nanna watching too much tv and making sure the Boy gets the attention that he deserves.  It sucks when the day is over and I realize that my house is a disaster, the kids are bored and I am stressed.

All this while my husband works from home in our office/bedroom. He has been really good about this change. He helps with breakfast in the morning and will sit with the Boy if I want to use the bathroom alone. I am really trying to minimize my requests and keep the noise level to a minimum but some days are harder than others.

Sometimes I feel like I am expecting too much of myself.  I want my house to be on the cleaner side {though I can't vacuum during naps or a teleconference for the Husband}, I don't want to have to sort through the basket of clean clothes that need to be folded and I don't want my children to be stuck in doors all day {although the rain seems to be doing a good job with that!}.  And I don't want people to think that I don't do anything all day.  I think that is the hardest part so far.

I know it is summer and I know that this adjustment is going to take some time but most everyone that knows me will tell you that I sometimes need to practice my patience and not stress out over everything. It's so much easier said then done.